This is it. This is what this year is going to be about for me. Less about others and more about my own heart. Less worrying about what others think and not caring why. They have not walked n my shoes there is no way for others to understand some of the choices that I make and that has to be ok. The end of 2018 was difficult. Things were turned inside out and feelings that have always been there resurfaced and they hurt. I need to learn that there are going to be days when things tear at my soul and give myself pace for that. At the same time I need to learn that on those days when I don't feel the weight of the past that's OK too. It's OK to just be happy and do whats good for me. Less Facebook and others and who is or isn't around. I need to believe that good ones will come and be open to them staying. My heart yea its bruised but there is so much to give. There is still so much in my heart to give and share and its finding the right ones. I am learning to let things go and welcome others in. I worry worry worry all the time and that does nothing but hurt me . There are things I can not control but I can control myself and how I act, how kind I am and how I am with others. When I am true to who I am I hope that will be seen and people will stick around. I am the same all the time, just crazy, passionate, often quiet me. I worry about the ones that don't stick around that there is some fatal awful terrible flaw that makes me terrible, maybe its a season maybe they just can't but I can't worry if they don't stick around for me; maybe it just isn't meant to be. I know that I have a job that I love. I know that I am a good mom and love Vincent and Mariska more than anything and that I am kind. I am a good friend and will stick by you in your worst moments. Kindness makes a difference and that is what I will chose to do for others and this year for myself. I will be kind to myself. Maybe dare I say a little self centered. I need to do whats right for my heart regardless of if others understand. I worry about that and its time , this year right now that I follow what is right for my heart and strive for the things that make me strong, make me happy, make me a better human being.
I heart your heart.
