Its kind of crazy. In starting this process again its amazing that people didn't ask about me about my heart. People talked about me, people talked around me but no one was are you OK, what happened to you , what did they do; there wasn't any of that and that came with such a shame because I have believed that all those things that happened made me less than made me gross and disgusting because if there were things that should not have happened then it would have been OK to talk about. The things that happened to me are not OK to talk about. The things that have happened make me less than make me unlovable, make me so very different. I was in my 20's before anyone asked if I was OK. That was Det. Plemmons after I pressed charges, and he before asking anything else asked if I was OK. And I literally didn't understand the question. Was I OK ? I mean of coarse I am OK I am fine I just have to do this and keep Angela safe. Those words are you OK mean the world and take so little time. Even now people don't ask. People that know me people that have known me for a long time and I am done and giving up on them. I understand that others have their own lives, but it takes 2 seconds to make sure that others are OK. I don't want them to ask anymore it doesn't matter I would rather do things myself than someone be less than genuine. I am tired of reaching out, making sure others are OK when my heart is breaking and no one gives a shit. Too sad to cry so she smiled. YES.YES.YES. And no one cares to know the difference.
I HEART YOUR HEART
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