Never the favorite, never a first never the one that is picked first for anything. Never the one that is thought of that is valued that ;that matters at all. Decisions are made, your heart never taken into consideration. Always left behind never even a thought for people and that gets old and it really hurts. With my brother being around its amazing the things that are brought up from when I was growing up. I was never chosen I always came in second. And Once again I see that and its more than frustrating. Father's day I was not a thought, Fourth of July not a thought, as a history I am never enough. Not religious enough not athletic enough, I am not anything enough to be a first pick to be a favorite.. I am just never that enough. I don't understand why. People say these kind things about the person that I am yet I am still not enough. What I want what is it that I do want I want to be enough and just for once in this life I want to be first, I want to be someones choice . This makes me so very very sad I can't even, this lonely place I feel so other than so different so dirty and gross and disgusting. In my head that is the reason its because of the gross and disgusting that I am left without a thought, left to be second or completely left out .......
I heart your heart.
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