New Year same Me

 

So many things are the same, and so many things are so different. It's a different year, and I have grown so much, finding a small comfort in my own skin. If only for a time. I am speaking more, less afraid of my own voice, and all the things that I want to share. I have lifetimes of stories to tell, and thoughts to share.  I find myself frustrated when others still want things sugar-coated and pretty. I am learning that I have high standards and believe others deserve them as well.  No one is perfect; everyone makes mistakes, but there is a level of awareness that extra care and extra caution are often needed, and I am willing to make sure others get that. 

So this year, 2026, is the year that big decisions must be made, and hearts will be split wide open; my own heart, which longs to be heard and understood, may have a glimpse of that this year. Another year in the books, and this Callahan is still standing; that is pretty astonishing. There are so many things running through my brain, all looking for a place to rest.  This past year has been one with a great deal of challenges, and even some rewards. So many new experiences, new challenges, and new ways of seeing the world. I am stronger than I have ever been, and I can see the hard work I have done and my own strength and drive to do things differently. A huge change this year was finally fighting for myself. I have spent my entire life fighting for others, making sure they are taken care of, protected, and safe. And finally, I am learning that I am just as important as the next person, and I am fighting for myself. Fighting for Spunky, who deserved a much better life than the one she was handed. I am fighting for my dreams and the things that I believe in with my whole heart. There are things in this world that I want for myself, and I am at a place where I am truly ok with that. 

I am fighting for my own worth; for so long, I have believed all the lies that I have been told my entire life. All the old tapes that are on repeat have kept me where everyone else wanted me to be.  I am here in 2026 to say no more. Don't get me wrong, I know I have a long way to go. There are still things that I need to work on, wounds that need healing so they can finally close, no longer oozy and painful. All I can think about are the good things ahead and the direction I am heading. I am ok with looking back, cleaning out the wound, then two more steps forward. Then two more, then two more, then two more. All with each part of me knowing that we have done the work, and it's time to honor how we see the world to make a difference for others.

I started the year checking out the Handbook for the Ph.D program, to say I am overwhelmed is an understatement, but goodness to someday be able to say that I am Dr.Sherri Callahan, that is something amazing. I am in a place where the world needs all the things that I have to offer. Of course not in a big head unable to fit through the doorway, but in a kind heart, trauma-informed, passionate way that only I have. To make a difference in the counseling field, to teach others what is needed, to guide softer, gentler hearts, yes, those are the things that I am meant for. I am terrified, and yet still know that it's the right thing to do. 

In the coming months, I have to look at all the things I want to do and prioritize what is first, what is most important, what my heart's desire is (Thank you, Elpheba), and where I go from here. A book is also in the works.  Well, not quite yet, but I am wrestling with ideas, outlining chapters, and deciding where I want to go. I want it to be about the little things that matter and how we can all help each other on our darkest days. I want to show people how to carve a space for others, how a space has been carved for me and allowed me to heal, as I will continue to do.  

Graduation is in late Summer, and the Ph.D. application is due in March. So many things. There will be finding a supervisor, and continuing to do what I love the most. My heart is so full, and happier than I have been in some time. I can see so many things ahead of me that I never before imagined, and it is a great place to start a new year of being truly who I am.  

I heart your heart.