Lonely in a Sea Of 7000

Yesterday was really rough day.  It was convocation for PISD and in all of those 7000 people I was alone.  My school was way at the top of the bleachers and  the way that my legs have been lately I was not going to chance falling on the stairs and looking like an idiot.  SO I took a seat down on the field.  I was glad that I wasn't going to make an idiot out of myself.  BUt the more the people that came the more alone that I began to feel.  I could look up in the stands and see my school, all together, and yet here I was.  I was in the overflow seating, at first I thought ok special Education was in the section next to me and I kept thinking well at least I will get to see some of the people that I have worked with.  The OT, PT the Diags.  And I saw them and would get excited that maybe they would say hello.  Maybe they would notice me and they did not.  Not one person said hello. And one person walked by me tons of times and never once said hello.  So I sat there, a few times the tears came.  The tears came that I was alone, the tears came as they showed all the high schools.  The tears came for the teacher that I want to be.  There was a lot of everything and I was alone. One of my favorites texted me and asked if I was ok I was glad. She said that she was glad that I made it.  That was the highlight. Not sure anyone else even realized that I was missing.  Lots of feelings.  Lots of alone.  And I feel guilty that out of 7000 people not one person said hello or even acknowledged I was there.  Those are the things that hurt a person's heart.  All those people and not one ?  I know I am not a joiner, I know that social anxiety thing kicks in.  But I would love to be acknowledged for someone to notice me.  Even if it was a pat on the shoulder a little wave, something anything would have been perfect. But nothing.  So that is the way that it was and it rough, very rough, and I was s affected. Yesterday took so much out of me, and I was definitely not prepared.  But today is a new day, I can not keep beating myself up for who I am, I will enjoy today and know if I ever saw someone like me I would never let them be alone, I would acknowledge even if with a small hi. 

LONELY IN A SEA OF 7000