Me

So much lately that I have no one to tell my heart too, no one to talk to and that gets hard.  There aren't even any emails that I can send and words of encouragement for me to feel. There are so many things that need and want to get out of my head out of my mouth and yet, I can't because there is no one to hear.  That is one hell of a place to be.   I do all these things and am so alone in this space and time and its really hard.  There is no one that I can really share what is going on with me and that is something else. I wish that I had an understanding why.  I wish that there were people that would say come over just chill let's watch a movie, I am not sure that is going to happen.  I see others and they find new people all the time, that just isn't me.  I have Stacey some at work, I don't want to be pesky he has family, she has friends she has all of those things and here I am.  Who do I talk to to,  well no one I just write here on this blog.  And I am truly grateful for this outlet at least I am able to get my thoughts out as jumbled a they might be.  But its not the same as someone hearing your heart and being there.  People read this, I will never know , there is no interaction no words of help or concern or wow that is huge.  There is nothing and I don't know how to change that. I have forever's and I just want to be someones forever back.