How I hold your heart

I am always so careful.I watch my words and my actions. I listen to the words and remember the important things. Things that are hard, that hurt your heart.  I remember those friends that have lost parents, I remember those friends when they are grieving.  I remember the days that your mom died and I remember the day that she lost her baby I remember those things and I offer support, I offer love. I offer, whatever it is that the person might need.  Those little things are important.  I remember bringing you ice cream, and sitting with those in the waiting room.  I make dinner on those hard anniversaries and offer my ear if you need to talk.  I send those messages , letting you know that I see you and I am here.   Those little things make a person feel seen and heard and valued.  I will travel far and help you unpack your house.  I will remember those important days, I will send cards and drop off friend presents.  I do those things because its important because I never want someone day that matters to them go unnoticed.  I do those things so that others know, I remember and I am here. 

There is also a sad in doing this for others.  In doing this it touches a part of my heart that has always been forgotten. My days are never remembered. My days are never acknowledged.  Most days I am not seen and heard, and there is an understanding that some things just are not meant to be for me.  There are a few times I was remembered and those things mean the world, I was so very grateful.  There was that Aug 22 when two women took the kids and I to the Zoo.  It meant everything , then they disappeared.  Recently, there was a blog post about  my anniversaries and how hard they are and the support that I received from the people that I work with was unbelievably amazing.  I felt loved. People went out of their way to let me know they cared.  Those people are my people, we make each other laugh and its ok when we cry.  Yes, that.  That is where healing happens.

I will always care for others hearts, that is what I do, that it what needs to be done. I love the thought that I can be that person to hold your heart and be there during a rough time. I want to be that thought that wow she remembered.  I will forever be that person.  Someday,  someday there will be a person that remembers my hard days and holds my heart and holds me when I cry and laughs with me.  A person that can understand that the acknowledgement of those days is more healing than a person could ever imagine. 

I heart your heart.