I hate special days

 Its Mothers day. I am laying in bed and I can't stop crying. I picked Mariska up from work at 8 pm , I just grabbed laundry and went upstairs when we got home. No dinner no acknowledgment, just nothing. Just another ordinary day alone doing the laundry cleaning and doing all the things that need to get done.  Mariska got flowers yesterday and balloons, she had a special gift. I don't for a second want to disregard that. What she did was wonderful. I even said to her, I wish she could stay home. I knew I would be alone and doing all the normal things I have to do on Sundays. She made breakfast before I had to start the laundry for the day, this morning. Once she went to work, it was just another normal Sunday. Me alone doing all the things that have to get done.

I can't even tell you how much I hate special days. Days that are supposed to be special be different. So many special days I end up hurt and disappointed. I wish I could just throw any and all expectations out the window when it comes to days like this. I dread these days more than you could imagine. I reach out, telling everyone to have a great day, saying all the things that I wish someone would say to me. I get some responses, I am not one that anyone reaches out to. I hate that it even bothers me, I just wish I was thought about, the way that I think about others. I texted Shelbi and she said they would be coming soon. That was before noon. I heard nothing from Vincent until late afternoon saying they were doing dinner at 8. I was hurt. After all day, there isn't consideration or making things special or any kind of acknowledgment for me.  I said maybe Mariska would want something. Then silence. I asked if they were still coming. It was already 8:30 and he was still in Mckinney. I have work tomorrow, there is no telling what time he would have showed up.  So I folded and put away, and went to bed crying. I just hate these stupid days, its just more heartbreak for me and that's the Last thing I need. I hate celebrations, I hate special days, for me they aren't special, and I end up heartbroken.