SO Costly

Disclosing is costly, keeping quiet is costly. 

Any and all abuse is costly.

It changes everything 

from who you once were

who you thought you would be 

and the person that you will be. 

There is not once cell that isn't affected. 

From how I think to how I see the world 

To how I interact with people. 

its so much more than a family secret 

EVERYONE EVERYONE 

would rather keep it a secret. 

It's ok for so many things to be talked about about abuse isn't

and that make s it more than hard. 

I know its heavy and it IS hard to talk about 

I know I carry the weight

its a lonely I can't explain

but sometimes just sometimes for someone to stand beside us

beside me 

to lesson the weight if even for a short time 

means the world

Costly, So Costly 

It's navigating a world 

where you have to smile 

pretend that all the things that are inside your head 

don't matter, aren't important, aren't worth 

I make it I keep going.

Keep going. 

There are great days, great days and then just like that 

worse days 

the nature of the beast

We loose...loose more than you can imagine

more than anything 

I just want someone to stay

there is so much my heart has to give.

I know I am needy and my heart gets heavy.

I am more than sorry ALL THE TIME.

Such a journey

I can't go back. 

I can not changed what has happened to me. 

 But you can choose to treat me  kindly

and maybe sometimes be gentle

gentler than most 

but really in more ways than you know 

I am just like you.