Tuesday, November 26, 2019

Oh Little Callahan



Oh my little friend.  I feel more than lost with out you.  I feel a lonely like I have never known.  Where are you, where have you gone ?  I want you to know that I am more than sorry for so much.  I would like to think that you are just packing your bags, that you are coming back but I am really not sure. I am more than sorry for so much, goodness I hope you know I truly never hated you I just couldn't see the little lovable survivor  you under all the terrible awful evil things that were done to you.  I am alone without you and I desperately want to know where you are and how your heart is.  There are so many conversations that we have never had,  I know that we never shared words because there was never a need or there was a need but we didn't even know the words to say or where to start.  So much of our lives things have just been an understood,  wen I went away you took over when you went away I tool over.  You were always there for me, you were there in it all and I am more than grateful that I wasn't on my own because I never would have made it. I am more than sorry that I haven't been able to acknowledge you for so long, it must have been terribly lonely I just didn't have a clue, maybe you being gone is a taste of my own medicine and the loneliness is what you have felt all these years.  You were always there on those moments that I felt most inhuman you were there so clear and I felt like a real person again.  You were always there reminding me that I wasn't alone, that things would be over and be ok again soon.  I fear that I can't do this by-myself,  I never realized just how much that I have needed you.  There is a part of me that is completely lost.  There is such a need to know where you are and know that you are ok.  I am worried, I am scared and I just need to know that you haven't left me too.  Because through it all you were there and when there were no words it was ok because you understand just as deeply as I do, and I need that.

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