12-15-2023
Today I took the day off work. It was a dark cold and rainy day, and I enjoyed every single second of it. I had all the Christmas lights on all day and enjoyed my home and where I am. It was the most peaceful day that I have had in a very long time. There was a peace that I can' t explain and a feeling in my heart that all was well with the world. I look around my home and realize that it's all me, I did this I decorated and made everything beautiful. I worked my butt off to get to this place and today I felt the peace. I wrote, and I listened to music. I sat and enjoyed every second of each moment . I realize that there is a delicateness to things in my life and a heaviness to things still to be dealt with but more than that there was a calm. When I wanted to sit down, I sat and there was no guilt that I should be doing something. I checked my grad school grades, both A's 100's actually and that feels more than amazing. I have come a long way these last few years. I have a number of days that still knock the breath out of me, but I am moving in the right direction. I am making changes that feel right for me. There are still struggles don't get me wrong but today; today was the most perfect day and I hope that I can have more days like this.
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