heart is completely there all the time, wanting to give each and every one of my kids everything that they need. We work so very hard, we have papers to grade , lessons to plan and rules to follow and tests to give and tutoring to plan for and there are mounds and mounds of paperwork and documentation but the times that I cherish the most are the times during small groups when I get to know the kids.When I get to work one on one and make a connection with them. When I get so excited and the look on their face, they must think that I am crazy! When they trust me enough to open up and share. There was one little boy in my first grade class, who amazed me. He made my heart smile. Oh for some reason I was drawn to him he moved here from another state, his parents were not born in the US. He has the most amazing little laugh. He thinks that all things are funny even when they are not. He has so many things to say that sometimes he just can not control himself. This one little boy found a space in my heart that I can't explain.
And last week one of his Friends came running up to me in the hall and said guess what T made a 100 on his spelling test and for many that might not be a huge accomplishment. But for T that is amazing. Because in the weeks before it was 20 % sometimes 30%. And it wasn't that he wasn't trying, he was trying, and really hard. I believe that his little mind was just so full of everything in his life there was no room for simple words.
One day while I was sitting with him in study hall he started talking, really talking telling his story and the things that he has seen and the experiences that he has had were unimaginable. The things that he knows about in his short little life are things that no little one should know about. And during those fifteen minutes that he was talking and talking telling me all about him, I saw his heart and how as a teacher seeing his heart I can be an even better teacher. Knowing all those things that he shared, I saw him different, I had an understanding of where he was coming from. In knowing that great amazing kind laughable little heart I can teach him better than before.
The normal directions are hard for him, the fast past of the classroom is just that fast and he got lost in the shuffle. He is more than smart and it took taking the time to truly see him to know how I could help him. It is not that he couldn't get the information; it was in how we deliver it to him, he needed extra kindness extra direction, and that laugh. He needed to laugh. With things he knew he needed to laugh, and that needed to be OK. The things that he knew of laughing was a great thing, and I am glad he could .
I think a part of me connected with him because I was one of those kids. There was so much going on with me there was no room in my little brain for school. Being exhausted everyday from the night before is not the ideal way to go through school. Thinking that you are so different that no one wants to play with you anyway. Being scared that you are the last one, that you are left out, that you are behind everyone else are daily worries added on to the things that are known and experienced that shouldn't be. I couldn't even read until third grade and it was Mrs. Guise that took the time gave me that special attention, and finally I learned, and became a great reader but it was some one taking the time, to listen to hear me and to care enough to learn how I needed to be taught. Oh I never told her in words what was going on at home, what was happening to me, but she took me under her wink, she listen to my heart and gave me what I needed and I was able to learn to read. I still remember her kindness she always had enough time for me, ALWAYS, ALWAYS.
And I will do that for my kids, they get my time I listen to their heart. I teach them all the things that they need to know. I teach them input output tables, I teach them about the presidents and rocks and time and all of the absolute things that they need but I listen to them, I hear their hearts. I am crying like a baby writing this. Oh I love little T, he has made a difference for me. When I got to school Friday he was being dropped off and and spotted me and yelled Ms. Callahan and came running around the corner, almost knocking me over giving me a hug. Oh and I held on asked how he was , I worried about him when I left. But he is doing amazing and making the grades, and I know that he is going to be OK.
SO I am not sure what I am wanting to say but I know that I will always make time to listen to the little hearts that are in my class and teaching them the materiel is so very important but its even more important to hear their hearts so we know how they learn and how we can teach them. I will never forget little T and I will never forget how he shared with me. I will never forget what it felt like for me being a kid in school and the things that I was experiencing at home then trying to keep up with the demands of school; trying to learn. This is for T , thanks for sharing with me, thanks for letting me hear your heart, I am so glad that I got to be your teacher.
For T I heart your heart. I am grateful you shared your story. For all the kids in my classes , oh how I heart your heart all my kids from first to fifth, you are amazing and I am glad to be your teacher.
No comments:
Post a Comment