What a rough few days. My heart is heavy and no one is listening. These days have hit me harder than I ever imagined and days that I have realized a few things. Sure, I am liked but not enough. Sure I am liked but not enough to be a part, not enough to be remembered not enough to be remembered when so much is in the news and not one person asks how are you ? Are you doing OK ? Not enough for that. I think a big job for me in this life is making sure that people are OK. Making sure that they do not have to feel the things that I have. My job is making sure that those things don't happen to other people, I care for their heart. I think about them first. And for me, well I should get used to it. I am not thought of first or at all. I even sent a text because someone had been on my mind and it was like oh was thinking about you the other day. Then please please let me know that is all I want. A few words. Been thinking about you. Four words to be exact. I will not ask anymore. I want someone to check in on me, give me a hug. These things in the news are big and heavy and no one is listening. NO one is checking to see if they have an impact on me and how I am. Right now I am sinking, barely keeping my head above water!
That Is the problem , that Is the fucking problem. CARING .
I have already done the mulch in the front yard, pulled those ever present weeds. And still the anger is seeping. I am alone and beyond words.
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