Missing

Those times when it feels like something is missing.  When things aren't going your way , no one is checking on you and there isn't one person to tell your heart that everything will be ok.  Those times,  they are not fun I keep thinking its ok something will change, the sad the lonely all those things will go away .....and then they don't. Work is different this year,  there are a lot of students and not enough time, I go to work early and leave late to get things done and planning what is that .  I feel like I am burning at both edges, and I just have to pull it together.  Suck it up keep smiling and tomorrow will be better. Not this tomorrow tomorrow tomorrow then its another tomorrow and another and another. And things are not bad, its just this heart, there is a longing for ones to ask if I am ok for people to check on me.  The past has felt heavy and I just don't want it to be anymore. I don't want to be that heave person that people dread, that people stay away from and yet I AM. I am that person.  Because I can't fake it, I do all the time I smile everything is fine, but underneath there are storms rising sometimes they subside other times they turn into Massive storms and I cry myself to sleep.