I was never a liar

 I am not a liar 

I am not 

even though you made me believe that I was

Your cruel words and terrible accusations 

You never saw me, that so sad little girl

I am not a liar 

Because I wasn't your perfect picture of a victim

No, I wasn't pretty 

No, I wasn't popular 

You are correct I didn't fit in

I was different 

Please remember I was the one 

that was well prepared to keep everything that happened to myself

Not for a single second did I want to tell anyone

Your first words should we get a pregnancy test, that was the smartest thing you said. 

Then you would have known the truth, I was not a liar

For me this was nothing new, rape was a common occurrence, just a daily act of life

I am not a liar 

Because I didn't fit into your perfect victim box

I am not a liar because I kept everything together

That is the only thing that I knew how to do. Smile, keep everything together

I was not the girl that ever-wanted attention, Attention got me hurt

You wanted me to have words that I didn't have

You wanted me to be weak

You wanted me to be hysterical 

You wanted me to have answers, that I could not find

I am not a liar

I have believed your lies, and felt like I was everything wrong and disgusting

I was the unpopular girl who would want to do that to me

I was the girl on the outside

I lied to get attention, right? that is what you went around telling everyone

What were you so afraid of, pointing fingers and blaming a child?

I wasn't lying, I wasn't!  

Lying would have been easier than the hell I went through

At least when I kept it to myself no one could do anything

Because they didn't know

But even when you did know, you did nothing but point fingers and blame.

You were so wrong, I wanted help not attention.

I was not a liar the first time.

I was not a liar the second time

I was not a liar the third time

I was not lying, and I wanted nothing from you other than safety and support

of which I got none

I wish I knew what you thought would come of this for me? 

I already believed I was an unworthy waste of a person who got what she deserved

I believed she was a slut who asked for it 

Your words made me believe all of those things and worse 

A liar.  I was not a liar. 

She was a girl that lived a million lifetimes that you could never comprehend

I was a girl that covered every track trying to protect everyone around me

I was a lot of things, but a liar was not one of them. 

You could have helped, supported and loved.  But instead, you turned the other way

I have paid dearly for your lack of care and support

All these years later I carry your words and still have to fight them

You were the adult and instead of doing the right thing......

You turned everyone against a child raped and brutalized, you turned a little girl into the laughingstock

I was not a liar, I never was.  I just needed someone to step up and care for my heart.

I needed someone to be a soft place to fall and that was what I never got. 

I heart your heart