It was some kind of school conference and another male teacher was at my table I was trying to blow him off. I mean that is so me, I could tell the comments he was making the effort that he was making and I was terrified, honestly because I can not for the life of me imagine someone loving me for me....that thought literally blows my mind; but then he said but I really like you Sherri
It took my breath away....my heart was doing cartwheels. and he gently put his hand on mine. There was the panic, but it was real. After some time and caution I smiled and said I liked him too...wanting to believe it but thinking how in the world was it possible someone loving someone like me... that thought is an everyday.. but the genuineness of his words and how he was looking at me. I was beginign to get more comfortable, opening up some, not blowing him off but hearing his words, smiling and laughing like there was nothing going on around us in the world.
As we were walking out together he casually gently took my hand and my heart stopped I held on right back....it was right it was perfect it was just was. I am sure that there were people everywhere but its like we were the only people around.
It was this big open field pretty fairy tale like, so surreal but everything stopped and so kindly, gentle and perfect he gave me a kiss and I kissed him back and I put my head on his chest and just kept saying thank you thank you thank you.....there was a peace a safeness that was unbelievable. A gentle touch that didn't hurt that wasn't meant for harm....
this is one of those forever dreams that I will always remember and someday someday I hope for. Its a good thing when I have a dream like that and wake up with the feelings, and they seem so far fetched, but were so real in the dream. It's those feelings that I have never had but if I can have them, feel them in a dream then maybe just maybe not all hope is lost in finding that man who will hold my heart .
I heart your heart
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