Feeling Defeated

I was in the book store looking for pictures for my journals. Then that perfect picture !!!!   I find that picture and think that is it, that is how I am feeling. I am feeling more than defeated.  I feel like I am behind the ball and feeling more than needy. I feel like I need someone to just take over, hold me for some time until I can feel safe and sound and heard and not so needy.  I am not seven sure that I have words.  This picture is everything right now, everything in my heart that I just need a break I just need to know that I am not less than. I need to know that I matter that its ok that my heart this bad sometimes.  I need to know that I have a place to rest and recover. I need to know there someone will catch me when I fall until I feel strong enough on my own.  This. This picture it brings tears to my eyes and makes me want to cry because there with my head resting on that shoulder I need some rest I need a time when I have to focus on resting because the weight that I carry is dreadfully heavy and my knees are beginning to buckle.  I can not fight, I can not laugh I can not even , get out of my own head. I just need that safety.   I feel like I can't keep up appearances anymore, can't keep pretending that all is well and its kind of like someone finding you out.  There isn't enough of me and I need someone, a hero to step up for me for a time because that girl, that lifeless girl needs so much, and I am not sure how to ask.

I heart your heart .  Sweet Girl, someday things won't be so heavy . I promise.