Tuesdays were my favorite days

Tuesday was the day. It was the day I had a time and place that was mine. I always looked forward to feeling like I mattered, to getting a hug that for even a few seconds made me feel not so broken.  I looked forward to that Monday night reminder email, that someone chose to stay just for me.  In this place my feelings were heard, my heart was cared for and my soul didn't have to fight to be heard because it just was. Tuesdays were hard, but for that time I didn't feel so alone. I didn't feel like a burden. For all these reasons Tuesday was my day, my most favorite day.

I kept going day after day knowing Tuesday was coming, because that was my day.  In the beginning it wasn't really mine until one day just like that he said, so lets make this your day and time, and he smiled and said how would you like that. My heart smiled, I finally had a place. He Lifted his glasses and put it on his calendar.  And so it became my space, just for me to heal this hurt heart of mine.

So Last night right on schedule, I got my email, my appointment reminder and the tears began to stream down my face.  that reminder always made my heart smile. Because Tuesday was a day when I could just be. That email was a reminder of so many things that don't have words, and all the things a person like me desperately needs.

I do miss my Tuesday place, more than anyone can imagine.  I know this is just a season and I still have that place. I know this is a time to shelter in place; a time to be safe. I know in my head, that place is still there and one day soon I will have my Tuesday again.  Where little Callahan is safe and heard and yes so safe. Someday soon, I just want my Tuesday back.

I heart your heart