Needing someone to hold space for me

I kind of feel like this says it all.I am so tired of the things that matter to me are deemed as unimportant to others.  So often lately I am not sharing, still sometimes but not all the time.  I have been writing what I need to for me.  My heart is sad not sure if its the time the season the who knows but its just where I am.  On the outside things are good its just this heart of mine.  Maybe this is my permanent state.  And I have to enjoy those happy moments even more because I know this broken heart feeling will be coming back.  I just don't know.  I enjoy every second. I laugh,  I am kind and still there are things that I think I may always have to fight.  People don't want to fight me or they do for a season and that has to be ok I have to learn that that is ok. So I am going to keep writing and keep writing.  I hope that someday soon I will be able to find that person that can walk through this with me, because I know just far that I can move forward when I have that.  It's a lot to ask of a single person, I know.  It has got to be there.  So I am going to keep writing the things that matter to me my stories, my heart, my truth the things that mater most to me.  These are the things that matter and I will keep doing it.  Since I have started writing more again sleep comes a little easier.  The nightmares are still there and crazy dreams and but somehow it comes easier and that is never a bad thing.  So I do I need someone to hold space for me and help me through and just be there.  lend a hand, let me know that its going to be ok and not I am some kind of crazy. Yep my heart hurts but goodness there is so much love to give.  I will give all I have and more someone just needs to take that chance on me.  I need someone to take that chance and be willing to help.  To stay and be.

I heart your heart I just need someone willing to stay.