Today was one of those days, one of those weeks, and one of those months.Its been a few really hard weeks. Lots of feelings lots of things going on and I have felt every emotion and look and judgement that has come my way. I feel like I am different, I am hard to love and even think I am realizing that some of the things meant for other people in life are not meant for me. I think there is a reason that I fight , that I fight until there is nothing left of me. I fight so hard Because I truly think that I believe in my bones that many good life things are not meant for me, so I must fight for others. I will keep fighting for others so that they can know and feel the things that are not meant for me. I feel too damaged to different, I am so much of an outlier, So I think I hold on so tight, to make sure that I never forget all those feelings, like that would even be an option, to give others all the things that I am not sure are meant for me. I fight so hard to make sure that others don't have to feel the things I feel so deep. I am not even sure if this makes sense but it does to me. I have a list of things I desperately want even need that could encompass the globe but yet think for me its impossible. Impossible for someone to truly love all the pieces of me. I am not saying that I have given up for me, the things that keep me going are the things I fight so that others will never know the deepest of sadness, and the horror of horrors. That is why I fight. So no person that I am involved with ever feels alone. That is why I fight. 
Things I know things I have felt, things I hope to feel someday .
A post about my someday and maybe even hopefully.
These things are my heart.
And I don't know where to go from here.
I heart your heart .
No comments:
Post a Comment