Tuesday, February 16, 2021

Inside out

 


If you saw what I felt from the inside out

You would run. Run far away.

Because I promise If I could run I would.

But running for me isn't an option, just A dream in my wild imagination.

Because the things inside ;happened to me; are a part of me, and there is no reprieve

I could run forever and still not get away. 

Because no wish in the world can make the things in my head any better.

They are what they are, and they will hurt my heart for always

So I can run with utter exhaustion trying. Or stand in the horror, frozen in pure evil.

Feel it, cry it out, write, scream and talk. Do it all; with all that you are 

Do anything just to survive the aftermath, just please don't give up.

Because your going to want to, your going to want to stay in bed, cover your head

And scream at the world. Scream until your throat hurts, until you think your still 

Screaming and realize there is no voice left, just incredible silence

You will want to give up so fiercely....

Because the energy it takes to keep breathing is immense, and unattainable

The energy it takes to smile and do everything your supposed to is a weight like no other

Because there will be days that are so heartbreaking that you will wish that one of your 

Assailants just finished you off,  killed you squeezed a little harder and taken 

your breathe for the very last time; it's just that heavy. 

A kind of heavy that is too much to bare, yet what I carry is a burden that can't be shared

This is a burden to carry alone and little by little as you collect more pieces of your puzzle

Maybe with some time patience and  if you get lucky, someone who can handle your dark

 will be ok with your inside out. I think sometimes, that keeps me going. 

Someday 

just 

hope 

being inside out 

will be ok and not so devastatingly isolating . 




I heart your heart.

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