First day of Grad school

 There are so many thoughts and feelings.  I have to admit that there were many moments that I had to wipe my tears because this is something that I have wanted for so long. So many of the things that he said were resonating and there is a realization that this is exactly where I am supposed to be. I am comfortable and know that I am in the right place. I am sitting here on a lunch break between my 2 classes. I am on the 20th floor looking out the window and I am kind of amazed that I am sitting here in this chair, at this point in my life.  I never imagined in a million years that I would ever actually get here. I never imagined in my lifetime that what I wanted to do so long ago would be something that I would actually get to do.  Today is a WooHoo amazing kind of wonderful moment.  

You have done it Callahan, through every single obstacle here you are.  That feels more than amazing. 

I am impressed with my professor.  He has been voted best counselor, that is a good thing.  He wants to have an impact; he wants us to be teachable.  In the first few minutes of class, he literally said "If I am replaceable, then it is wasted time" that is meaningful.  He is here to make us better counselors, to tell the stories and help us see the things that we need to see. That is the sign of an amazing professor.  He sees us, I think he see's things that we are not even noticing.  He is reading the room getting a feel for the class, for each student.  I think for today I am just in AWE of this place, to be back in school. 

There is fear of course, that I am going to do things wrong, make mistakes.  I am so afraid that there are things that I am going to miss and things that I won't know how to do. I am terrified of a lot of things really.  But I want this even more than I am terrified.  That is an insurmountable amount.

I loved how he talked about having to be careful about sharing stories.  He said as a counselor a I shared a story about getting married and having this most amazing honeymoon.  And I shared that with a client who wants nothing more than to have a loving relationship but is alone.  That story would cause them more pain, and as a counselor that is the last thing I would ever want to do.  That is something so very important. That, was a huge Aha moment that I am sure I will never forget. The first amazing piece of advice in grad school. 

I know that this is where I am supposed to be, I know that this is what I want to do.  I want to help people.  I want to be able to help people on their own journey.  I am just saying I think that I need to win the lottery so that I can finish grad school a little faster, ok a lot faster and do what I am passionate about and what I am being called for. This is what I am supposed to do, this gives me purpose.  This gives me a meaning that I have longed for; for so long. It's only Monday and I can't wait for my next class.   

I heart your heart.  I hope Callahan that when you forget just how far that you have come, remember this day.  This is huge, we have a long way to go but we can't forget how far that we have come either. 

I heart your heart and I look forward to 10 years from now when I look back and read this and think wow, you did it.  You really did it.