Miserable

 

I really don't have a clue what is wrong with me.  

I was walking in the kitchen and the only word that came to mind was.

MISERABLE

I feel terrible for that, that was the first word that came to my mind.

and it totally fit.  I cannot even begin to tell you why.

But its Miserable in all caps. 

I am a kind of sad that steals all sense of joy.

It's an anxious that makes me tear what little nails I have left. 

It's an anger at everything, and nothing.

There just isn't enough of me to go around.  

I love going to school, and you would think things are good.

So many things are all moving in the right direction.

yet, MISERABLE

It's been weeks now and I am spent, getting on my own nerves because there. 

is no rhyme or reason.  There is no reason for me to be feeling this way.

there is no reason for me to be so unhappy right now.

I cannot give you a single good answer. 

But I can tell you I want to curl up in a ball. 

I want everything to stop and go away.

I can't find joy; I can't find fun. 

I cannot find the me that smiles and pretends that everything is ok.

I can't find her, and I hate that more than the word Miserable.

Today I was snapping at Mariska when she does more to help than anyone.

I am frustrated with everything and anything.

I feel like I am not enough.

I feel like I am not doing anything right. 

I am so sad, so mad and so frustrated because. 

I can't give you any rhyme or reason why I am feeling this way.

my heart is heavy, my smile is gone.

it's a lonely, that I can't explain.

I hope this passes soon. I want to laugh and find my happy

I heart your heart.