One of those weeks

It seems this week that I couldn't win no matter how hard I tried. Monday First day of school, the kids started eighth grade.  My mom took them to their first day of school.  I was sad Tuesday was looming.  Went to counseling the guy made me more than Angry he basically was all over me about forgiveness and how its not about them but about me, and I said that was a place I was not willing to go there are some things that are unforgivable.  And then he went on to say well it sucks to be you !!  What the fuck!!!!  It sucks to be me, he has no clue how hard that I have worked how I have kept going and doing all the things I need to and kept healing and because I don't share his believe it sucks to be me....Well that's not OK not everyone believes that , that is not the right choice for everyone.  I was already sad about Tuesday and then him yea......thanks jackass....and so I left and went to hockey tryouts.  Not much sleep crazy nightmares and in comes Tuesday .  I didn't want it to affect me I didn't want to be bothered I didn't want to think bout it but I did. I just kept at my desk and worked and worked.  Michelle made me laugh and that was helpful, again not much sleep, Wednesday just ept trying to recover from the beginning of the week.  I kept thinking OK the rest of this week is going to be a breeze, easy I can do this.  Not so much the sad was huge,  I wanted to curl up in a ball, and we all know that isn't an option.  Thursday nothing big, well take that back fire rill with Kinder and one little guy decided to rub my boob and tell me I had big boobs, that was a shocked so couldn't believe it I stepped away and will keep a lot of space between the two of us.Then, then Friday. The icing on the cake we had to meet with specials teams about purple folders again the story was retold about the fire drill the day before and my boobs and one of them says well how did it feel to get felt up....the world stopped what in the world did she just say to me???  And she said it again and again and everyone laughed and my heart broke.  This was not a joke that as not funny.  Another blow for the week.  The tars started to come and I just stared at my papers in front of me.  Their laughter my expense.  Friday brought me to tears  So yes what a week, a very long first week. My heart , body and mind are anxious , will I find the right counselor will they see me when that tenth visit is up.  How will I handle this year....So many things and I want to crawl in a hole.  That was a week and a half and I survived but barely.  I heart your heart.