High School

Yea this one is a touchy subject. And with Vincent and mariska being a few weeks away from their freshman year they have a lot of questions.  In their questions are things that I can't answer that I can't explain.  I want it to be so very different for them and I do not know how to explain what it was like forme or even if that's appropriate.  Because the things that I want for their high chol experience are things that I never had the chance to experience.  There are so many memories and feelings wrapped in the memories of their questions for me and it breaks my heart.  Sometimes their questions are the reminder of all the things that I didn't' have; never experienced and the anxiety for my own kids is something I can not explain.

I can make a list of all the words that I want for them:

And I have a list of what it was like for me:

And how do you explain a high school experience like mine too your children ?? 

How can I answer their questions truthfully ? often thinking about it still is hard.  I can remember in detail how hard that things were. How I was treated, what a misfit that I was.  I get frustrated because I don't have those good stories to tell them, I didn't have friends that I shared any experiences with.  I was completely and totally alone.  There were a few interactions but fun high school experiences with music and friends those things were not for me.  I was such an outsider, always looking in at things that I knew I wasn't a part of.  I can't believe that it still makes me sad.  I was so picked on, for as long as I can remember.  Maybe those things just don't go away. 

For them I wish them friends and groups and many positive experiences. I hope that they find good true people that are kind that share their interests and ideas.  I hope they know that being who you are is a good thing.  Don't let people change you, be a leader and not a follower, do great things and change the world.  I may not be able to share all about mine but I can tell you all the things that I wish for you. 

I heart your heart .