It's a million little things

You know it's all adding up and it's getting so very heavy. I miss my perfect little house on creekview.  I miss the life that I had there.  I miss so many things that I had there. Things were good, my very own place to write to read to rest.  My very own place where everything was taken care of, and there was pizza and a movie every Friday night.  Those are the things that I miss.  And I miss that I don't have those things now. I miss the small electric bill.  I miss the one floor. I miss the window that wall to wall in my room.  I miss the deck and the sitting on the stairs.  I miss hearing the creek when it rained really hard.  I miss the huge library that was everything perfect.  I miss that house I so miss that house that place that time. I miss the life that the three of us had.  The visits were good and then it was the three of us and life was safe.  I miss the vincent that was when it was the three of us.  I miss the three of us dynamic and how we all fit together.  I miss that life that life that I had before things got so heavy here in the responsibility of this big house.  I like it here; it's beautiful and nothing I ever imagined and am not sure that I deserve.  But this house takes its toll on me.