Not a birthday Person

Dougall Fraser recently wrote a blog and it was one of those light-bulb moments for me.  He was writing how he is so not a birthday person, and I kept thinking right me either !!  He was talking  That some like to drag it out and enjoy the entire moth some like the parties and the surprise and everything that goes with that. Then there are others that enjoy just a quiet dinner with those that are closest. The entire blog as so perfect for me.  So many times people don't listen, people expect you to be a certain way at your birthday.  And in true Callahan fashion I do nothing like everyone else and birthdays are no different .  A friend from work made this picture and put it on Facebook and my heart.  This is what is important. I want to be thought of, I love that people leave wishes and messages, and that  is the perfect Birthday for me.

I think I have had to many birthdays, that were so full of sadness and disappointment that I would much rather they not exist.  I think that is part of the problem, so many times I tried, I tried to please people do what they thought I wanted, that has never worked for me.   I tried for so long to fit into everyone else's mold of what a birthday should be, and I just can't.  But that's the the thing about Birthdays they happen whether you like them or not.  I think Finally this year, its different. SO I just like the quiet thoughts, the  little messages those are the things that make my heart happy and there is nothing at all wrong with that.

I have had birthdays where all I wanted to do was be on a pier looking out over the ocean, everyone had other ideas; so that didn't happen. There were years I wanted a quiet dinner that didn't happen.  There were years that I got a mouse for my birthday, like computer mouse.  There were years of being forgotten by those that mattered the most, years of being recognized days later and my friends, that just isn't the same. Years of spoiled birthday parties, when no one came. So many years of being forgotten.  Amazing the things that stick out and all the ways that I lost the specialness of my birthday.   I feel guilty for my kids , they know my birthday is not a favorite.  And its so is not an age thing that part doesn't bother me at all. For me my birthday was about disappointments,  so I would rather it just be another day and do what I do.  My birthday is  about the people that remember and celebrate me as a person and the things that make me happy. The ones that write a little note to let me know they are thinking of me.  The ones who mention the things that are closest to my heart. That is what I value, that is what matters most to my heart.

Once again no, I do not fit into what everyone's expectations are, I am me.  And I much prefer to be here with my music on,  writing.  Being glad for those that remember and let me be me.   The ones that just acknowledge me,  that is what makes the day for me.  So here is to another year and to maybe learning to like the part of me that enjoys just the simple acknowledgement and the cake with buttercream frosting .  Here is to another year and a new appreciation of who I am and the things that I like on my birthday.  45 years.  Here's to many more Callahan , there is still so much for you to accomplish.  What a year to realize your goals, dreams and aspirations nothing like starting your next year just as you like it stuck at home.  Thanks Covid-19.