I am jealous

 It has been a rough Morning.  I hate things dealing with my car, it makes me nervous.  I don't have a clue what I am doing or know anything about it.  And of course, there is the money.  You never know how expensive that it is going to be, and where am I supposed to get this money.  Well, anything with my car I always lean on a good friend Mary and her Husband Jimmy.  He worked at a Mazda dealership and was always there if I needed anything with my car.  He charged me so much less than if I had to take it to the dealership and I was so very grateful.  Well they moved away and still they are offering their help.  I always message them and make sure that what I am being told is correct, and blah blah and they are literally some of the kindest people I know.  

So today I took my car in for an oil change.  And the news comes back there is about 2600 worth of work that needs to be done on my car. I am overwhelmed trying to figure out where that money is going to come from, when it needs to get done how urgent is it.  I mean this is my only vehicle you know. So, of course it's my car, and the first person I reach out to is Mary and Jimmy. In true Otterbine fashion she is like yea send me email and I will have Jimmy look it. And she starts to tell me that they are on their way to help their daughter, who just got a job as a teacher set up her classroom.  They said that they were bringing her a whole van load of things.  I could just feel her excitement through the message.  And in all that she said that she would show Jimmy the list of repairs tonight.  But if she forgot to remind her.  And the tears started.  Because I was Jealous.  I was jealous, that their daughter truly has some of the best parents that I have ever known.  

I was crying because I know that Jimmy will look over what needs to be done and be honest in what repairs I need to make.  I was jealous that they were going to have an amazing weekend with their daughter, helping her with her class.  I was jealous of the parents that they are and that I never had that.  And literally hours later I am still crying.  

When things go wrong when there are big things that I don't know what to do, there is just me there isn't help there isn't like someone that I can automatically go to and sometimes that just hurts.  I can do everything on my own, I have never had a person a father or mother that I could just go to for help and sometimes that just hurts.  Sometimes I let myself imagine, what that must be like and today the tears just wouldn't stop. 

Mary is something amazing.  I met her when her son was maybe 3, I was a Nanny at the time and the kids were the same age. I was always in awe of her.  The mom that she was how attentive that she was.  I can remember one day; her son was playing, and he pinched his hand on the toy box.  We were talking at the table, and you heard the scream.  I can remember watching her and she just held him, telling him that it was ok.  That she was there that it really must have hurt to have that happen.  She let him have his tears, she acknowledged him, and I think everything in those few moments is everything that a parent should be. I never ever forgot that interaction.  I can remember watching her and thinking, WOW .....she didn't tell him to stop crying, that there was nothing to cry about.  Like she heard him, she listened and comforted him.  I will forever remember that.  

They are the parents that every little one deserves in life.  Today I was jealous, that I could see and feel what that must be like and today more than ever I wished that I could have had that. 

I will forever and always be grateful to Mary and Jimmy.  I will forever and always be so glad to get to experience and see firsthand what amazing parents look like.