Scars in the daylight

 

This was a line in a song, and I heard it, thought about it and realized this is what I want for my life.  I listened to it again and again.  Yes, scars are made for the daylight. I am not saying I am going to blare what has happened to me every chance that I get.  I am not saying that I am going to talk about it all the time.  I am saying that I am tired of hiding. I am saying that a lot has happened in my life to get me to this place and I won't be small for people to suit their feelings.  There are things that I have to say, there are experiences that i have had that just might be a light for others. When I hear scars in the daylight, I am saying I am not keeping the things that have happened to me in the shadows, they will be shared in the light. Scars are meant to be seen and cherished. Scars are meant to be treated with trust and kindness. Scars are meant to be gently handled and seen as a strength not a weakness.  Scars are meant to see the light, and revel in all the things that got them there. Scars need to be celebrated, no matter the scar or the number of years that it took to be a scar and no longer a gaping wound.  

In the world that we live in certain scars are not meant to be shared or viewed and a lot of people think that they should be locked away hidden in the dark.  Too often in my life my scars were shoved to the side and not seen as important as others.   My entire life people have wanted me to lock the things away that have happened to me.  No one wants to see the marks on my heart.  No one wants to stick around for the moments that still ooze and are often ugly. No one wants to talk about the things that make me ME. The things that have happened in my life are things that are going to affect me forever, it's just a fact and if that bothers you then please show yourself away.  

I am saying that it is time to heal, it is time for me to shine the light on the things that are most heavy in my world.  I think of that line: The world is full of suffering, but the world is also full of overcoming it. That is exactly where I am.  It's really kind of funny my friend list is getting smaller and smaller, if you don't add kindness and aren't genuine then I am out.  I am the same person all the time, I am crazy Callahan sometimes funny, sometimes quiet always hardworking and always true.  I am just me and I will not be small for people who are fake, people who have chosen sides.  I will not change who I am or fake it until I can pretend to be something else.  That isn't me it never has been and never will.  

I think that this next stage is going to be shining a lot of light on all the things that people wanted to pretend didn't happen.  This next stage is going to be one where I listen to my own heart and the things that I need and want. I am learning that I don't care what others want me to hide. I don't care about others, I have to listen and do what is right for me, and that means showing all of my scars no matter how awful they might be in the daylight.  

I heart your heart.