Never been worse Never been Better

  One of my favorite artists is Ben Abraham and his new song was just released, and I am totally in love !   This could not be more fitting for me right now.  Never been worse and never been better.  

I know that I have been speaking about the in-between right now.  Where I am is a very hard place and the world keeps going. One foot trying to save Spunky, and the other trying to accomplish my dreams. It's that time of year for friends and family and I have a few friends, but they have their own families so it's different.  I don't have a place for the holidays, and I am going to do everything I can, to try and make this special time of year amazing for the kids and I.  Every day is a struggle right now.  I dread going to work.  I hate when the alarm goes off and I hit snooze until I think I am going to be late if I don't get out of bed.  Saturdays are my favorite days.My grad classes are all day and I feel like I am doing something and moving in the right direction.  I feel alive and like there is a purpose for me. I know that this feeling won't last, I know that things will get better they always do but right now in the in-between, I am going to try and take things step by step. I have Never been better and Never been worse.  

"Never Been Better"

Things are amazing
I'm making music I love
It's the life I wanted but my self esteem's been rough
It's kinda crazy
I'm trying to work out the game
To sing the truth of my life
And monetizing my pain

Look mum, I'm living in LA
You know it's sunny every day
And you asked me how I'm doing?

Well, I've never been worse
But I've never been better
And I'm in love with the person that I'm becoming but I'm more insecure than ever
And the more I learn the less I know but it's alright
Two different things can both be true at the same time
And I've never been worse
But I've never been better

I called my sister
It's been a while since we talked
But she's doing so much better now that she's divorced
Isn't it crazy
That life can be such a mess
But disaster has a way of bringing out your best

I told her you should see LA
It started raining here today
And when I asked her how she's doing

She said I've never been worse
But I've never been better
And I'm in love with the person that I'm becoming but I'm more insecure than ever
And the more I learn the less I know but it's alright
Two different things can both be true at the same time
And I've never been worse
But I've never been better

Don't you worry
Everybody's crazy
You're doing amazing
Everything is terrible

Well, I've never been worse