Thanksgiving 2023

 

Today on Wednesday 11-22-2023, Thanksgiving Eve I feel like there has been a weight lifted.  I can't explain it or tell you why.  But I feel it in my bones.  I think writing about being done with my brother was huge,  asking for help with an ARD at work. I wrote a letter to Spunky, because I need to move forward. I am not willing and not going to leave her in a place of suffering.  I know that she is terrified so am I .  I am more afraid of leaving here there to suffer than I am of moving forward.  I got to meet Vincent's girlfriend.  I think there is still a lot to process, I just watched trying to take it all in, it's so foreign to me.  The entire process, dating holding hands, so many realizations, that so much was missed.  That is a place to heal someday, but I was there , Vincent invited me in to meet his girlfriend.  So young, but a door opened and I going to do everything necessary to make sure it stays open.  I think it's time to do things different, make some new traditions, and do what works for my family. Mariska and I are going to an early movie, then home to put dinner in then some Christmas decorating.  It's time to do things different and do what works for me.  Vincent is going to spend the first part of the day with his girlfriend then be home.  They are growing older and won't always be here.  I am going to take things as they come and try to enjoy. I guess as time moves on change is necessary and its time to do things that work for my family.  

Update :  

Vincent never went over his girlfriends, not sure why but after working overnight, he slept in.  Never heard from my brother the last nail is in the coffin.  It's hard to miss someone that brings such drama.   We got the turkey in late another dinner after 8 and then it wasn't cooked and put it back in.  We ran out of foil but someone managed to have a very tender moist turkey.  All in all not a bad day. Just trying to figure out what works best and going with the flow.  

I heart your heart