Some days

 

Some days are just hard. Just lonely just all the things that you wish they were not. 

The sky is beautiful, the most amazing hue of blue

The trees are beautiful, moving to the breeze

Butterflies trying to find the perfect spot

Birds finding their song with just the right notes

Then there is me in the middle of it all and the tears flow

I can appreciate each of these things and am grateful

I sit on the deck taking in that beautiful sky, 

feeling the trees and hearing the birds

there is such a peaceful appreciation for these things

at the same time the tears fall

I talk about it all the time this deep sad in my soul

it's there all the time no matter what I do 

it's so heavy and is something that just is

It's so heavy that even in the beauty it steals my breath 

I think that as much as I am able to heal 

there will be these slivers of sadness

sometimes they will come as tears 

Sometimes as that ever present ache 

and then days when its so heavy that you have to remind yourself to breathe

Today was just lonely

And there is a huge guilt that follows

The sky is so pretty and the trees so full and green

The birds so happy, the sun so bright and 

still Callahan is sad,

Maybe there will always be days like this

forever and always

I guess if they have to be, what can I do

I just wish that someday I didn't have to do them alone

I want nothing more than to lose this sadness 

as hard as I work, I fear it's just a part of me

Pieces of me that will forever be tender and fragile

So many bruises, so many marks that still hold the pain

I have come so far and this sadness is so deep

It's always there just some days it becomes to vibrant

begging for attention

I don't have time to sit and wallow

I don't want to sit with this sad 

so many things lost in life, and I think aren't I done with that

My heart hurts and I feel the sad in everything

Just one of those some days

I heart your heart