It's the holidays. Those special days when people are celebrating surrounded by family. Just a very real reminder that today as many days I will be on my own. I have my children my own family. There just isn't family for me. People will not check in there will be no invitations to join any family celebrations. I will be sad; I ache that I am not a part of any special activities. I will do all my normal things, cleaning, fixing, trying to get engrossed in something on TV so that time passes quickly. Mariska will be at work; Vincent won't be home. I will be left with all of these thoughts and nowhere for them to go. I reached out to one person and got a snap back What can I do for you! I took it that I was being pesky. I just told her I was glad she wasn't alone and said Happy Fourth. I guess that is how things go.
Today started out as one of those days. It was one thing after the other, just a string of things nothing serious, but no matter what I did something happened. Went past the table broke a frame, cleaning up the glass went to throw it away, the pool fell on my hand and gave me a papercut. Typing them sounds so stupid but some days I just want things to run smooth. Today was just a day. someday, I will find my people and there will be lots of celebrations.
I heart your heart.
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