Too Heavy

I seem to be to much and too heavy for people.  It's always been that way really/ The things that I had going on were too much.  The things that happened to me were too much. I feel too much, I care too much I do everything a little/lot too much and people go away. I can remember  it being that way for as long as I can remember before high school, middle school, even elementary school.  I think about those tadpoles when  was 5 and how I felt so much that I couldn't save them.  That deep feeling over things that I had no control over. The things I felt and experienced were so much more than others could handle. I could try to explain my feelings until my last breath and I am not sure that  I would be understood.  There has to be more people like me that feel everything so very deeply.  The things that I have experienced, the things that I have lived through and I keep going, I keep smiling I keep fighting.  I think because I keep going people don't understand the seriousness. People don't see the pain and the heartache and the deep sadness because I keep going. Believe me that is not an easy task.  I want my life not to be so heavy, I want to be lighter to be liked, to have more people in my life.  If I could just put things away better.  If I could be more normal then maybe, more people would want to be around.  I understand my life is heavy, but I still want to share it my life with someone, There is so much more than the heavy but its something that in order to get past it you have to walk with me through it, to get to all the good happy on the other side.   

I heart your heart.