I am here

 Wow, there are so many thoughts and feelings, my face hurts because I can't stop smiling.  I am here.  I am here, I am in my second semester grad school, I think that every semester there is going to be tears because there is this realization that wow, this is really happening for me. I have worked so very hard and here I am. I need to take the time to just sit and realize just how far that I have come.  

I am here,  

And for so many reasons I should not be but I am.  

I am here and I am exactly where I am supposed to be. I have already cried because I want this just that much.  I have been failed so many times and I want to be that person to help others, to be there for them in ways that so many others should have been there for me but were not. I want to be there for others, I want others like me to know that they are not alone and that there are people that are kind, that want to understand and that will not run away. 

It's a lot of work and so much reading. My professor is intense, but I also feel like she wants the best for us.  She wants us to be one of the good ones.  She wants us to make a difference. 

I have to figure out the crying thing, I think I have just been through so much and have wanted this for such a long time. Now that it's happening there is this realization that wow, I am here and dreams are coming true.  It's going to be a process and I have to take things a day at a time.  I was talking to a classmate who is also a teacher, about letting things go.  Right now in my job there are things that I can't control. I need to be ok with that.  I need to go to work do my job then come home and focus on the things that I love the most.  I am here I have made it and I am so on my way.