That is something that is more than hard. I think its safe to say close to impossible. I have been writing about that day, And I just don't want to be alone. What am I supposed to say can I come over, because I can't get my mind off of what happened to me at 13 and I just need to feel safe. When I want to say will you please read this and tell me that I am not as awful as I feel inside. No I am not sure that a person can do that. So I reach out asking how people are and telling them that I love them and sitting here crying alone hoping that soon the feelings of terror and unbelievable sadness will go away. I want to call Mark but I am afraid the ugly crying would kick in and he wouldn't be able to understand me anyway. And its Sunday, and I really can not bother him. I was always alone in this when I was 13 and I don't want to anymore. My heart hurts, and the only way that it is going to get better is by not being alone and I don't know how to do that. I would give anything to just be somewhere else. I would give anything for what happened to me at 13 not be my life.
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