Found This

 

I am kind of at a loss for words. I am angry and sad and then again even angrier.  I found this post on my father's wife Facebook.  It made me sick to my stomach and I threw up my dinner.  Oh sure he loves me and misses me everyday.  REALLY ?  Please tell his children he thinks of them all the time.  Really what are the things that you think about ?  Because here is what I think about ? I do not love you and I have never missed you. 

Did you ever love me at all ? EVER?

Did you love me when you raped me at 5 in my own bed with
the yellow comforter.  

Did you love me when you pushed me out of your bed and told me not to get sick.  

Did you love me when I couldn't breathe and you didn't stop. 

Did you love me when I couldn't stop crying because of what you had done

Did you love me when I had to hold your cross so it didn't make any noise 

Did you love me every single time that you raped my body 

Did you love me every time that I had to make you happy

Did you love me when I was older and crawled on my own bed to make you happy because that was what I was good for

Did you love me then,  did you miss me when you couldn't touch my little body anymore! You not only physically hurt my body but you broke my heart and mind.  You hurt me in ways that a person can never understand!   Did you fucking love me then ?  Still the Victim poor Bob.  His children don't talk to him boohoo poor guy!   Fuck you, I hate you.

I am not sure what to think but my head feels like it is going to explode, my heart is racing. I think I could run a marathon or two just trying to escape from the anguish that I feel inside right now.  There is a part of me that would love to respond to the message.  I want to let them all know the kind of man that he is and let them all know in detail the things that he did to me. Then look me in the face and tell me what a wonderful man of god that he is.  Once i saw the post I continued to look on her page and post after post was about god and prayer and I again got sick.  There is a part of me that wants to respond, so that they do know where I am and that gives me an in to find out when the bastard dies.  I don't care if I had to walk there, I would want to see his body lifeless and no longer breathing.  I look forward to that day, I really look forward to that day.  I would stand there and poke your dead lifeless body making sure that it was true,  then I would scream. I would cry, than I would dance like I have never danced before.  When you are no longer taking up space on the planet, I know that I will breathe easier.  

So please I hope you think of me every single day, and that you are sad. I hope that someday when you are dead I will meet these people that feel bad for you that your children want nothing to do with you. I will meet them and I will tell them the truth.  I will tell them the hell that you put me through.  And I will leave feeling lighter than I have ever felt.  I will leave knowing that you are no longer taking up space on this planet.  I hate you, I hate everything you stand for and someday, someday I will attend your funeral and tell all these people exactly what you are !  I will be the one walking out with my head held high because you didn't ruin me, and all I can hope is that you will be ib a place that is much farther than six feet under. 

I heart your heart.