One amazing conference, two totally different days

 

I am really not sure where to start.  There are so many things to say and none of them can find the right formulation of syllables to even become words.  I am sitting here staring at the screen and nothing.  The first day was as close to perfect as it could possibly be.  The second day was so completely different, and I think I took it personal, like I did something wrong .  I am trying to figure it out.  Since today was the second day I am trying to figure out all the differences, and wanting, hoping that today was good for those that attended. The second group seemed so closed, I found myself trying to explain things away, because the connection was different. Don't for a second get me wrong, there were a few that were totally connected and I felt it.  In the room as a whole, things were different and maybe I just can't put my finger on it.  So unbelievable same presentation on two different days can be so incredibly different 

I am trying to focus on all the good things and it's more than hard when you feel like you have failed in some way.  And that's the thing it was the same presentation, the only thing that changed was the attendees, but it was so different.  There just wasn't the same openess or connection the second day. 

After the second day there is a lonely that I can't explain. I feel like I failed in some way. There was a connection missing on the second day, I felt like I had to explain and prove my story. Don't get me wrong there were some amazing attendees that were oh so kind, as a whole, it felt cold. I came home last night, and the tears kept coming, I couldn't eat.  It was a rough night and I can't even explain all the reasons why.  I am not going to try to understand why they were just different days and I am going to write about the amazing people, and the amazing experience that I had. 

I am grateful for the people that called to tell me to do amazing.  The ones that called in the evening to check in on me and se how things went.  I have some pretty amazing people in my life today.